-someone who is afraid to step out of there comfort zone.
Used generally for someone who won’t deal with what life throws at them. Someone who can’t handle the situation. Someone who is immature, but doesn’t realize it. Someone who reacts based off feelings; usually results in panic, frustration, looses control, backs out, gives up, folds. Is sheltered.
Reasoning: to be called a name like that of a creature who would live on a high mountain, living in a cave.
-I’m talking about the oranges.
They’re my new snack and I cant get enough of ‘em. Just like everything else in my life.
You see, by my closest friends I have been called an “indulger” or a “binge’r”. And I’m not proud of it. Its gross. I use to be a fat kid. Like really fat. And I know why. I am.. was, an emotional eater. But never mind that. That was then and this is now, and what I have realized now is that my disease has spread into my character. I feed off of people and its not healthy at all.
What I mean is that the way I treat people, things, and objects of my interest, I treat generously, but I don’t stop. Of course, I’d stop for it but I won’t stop for me. Its a self-controlling issue I deal with all the time.
I learn that when I like something I ware it out. I listen to it over and over, talk to him/her over and over, buy it over and over for sometimes the right reasons, but most of the time the wrong reasons. I do it to the point where the thrill is gone. The computer doesnt help either. Procrastination is the biggest side effect along with people thinking I’m too wired, and so on and so forth.
Its hard for me to break this cycle, and to this day I can disappointingly say that I have been through every personal breakthrough alone. Each battle I have won with determination and prayer. Not having self-control is one of my biggest problems and ironically that was always the “Student-of-the-Month” award I would receive in elementary school over and over.
I feel bad for my friends, having to put up with me. Its only a few. Or should I say, its down to a few. I can admit that some friends grow old or tired of my habits or thought process and they’re still my friend but I dont know them well anymore. I hardly know much of anyone anymore. Half of me doesn’t know why, half of me does. I get so upset with myself over the littlest things and for some reason I take it out on those I have no self-control towards, the ones I am closest to. It has to be because I don’t feel comfortable with where I am, right? You would think I could let whatever it is I have inside me out somehow but for some stupid reason I keep it inside, all the time.
I let off steam by saying things I mean but blowing them off as a joke. But I really mean it. And it sucks cuz if I found away to natural release my feelings I wouldnt say those things in the first place. I feel trapt in myself for some stupid reason and it always happens after I go steady in life for a good amount of time and then suddenly relax. Picking myself back up is exhausting ecspecially when I didnt rest right. (Doing nothing isn’t resting, talking things out with someone and being at ease is resting.)
Times like these I miss my parents, my sisters, my close friends. Cuz sometimes I need to just let it out so I can be myself and not be stupid about things. Atleast I have this.
Thank you God for everything you have given me. Please protect and be with my family, friends, and loved ones.
Amen
Haha so, according to this one person I can’t give a good compliment to save my life. In light of her birthday, I thought this would be the perfect time to give her one and for good reason too.
~Ashley Lewin has the most beautiful heart.
Truth!
Before coming down to APU, I looked forward to meeting many inspiring people that positively influence those around them the best possible way they can. Ashley was the first on that list by declaring me as a best friend in-a-matter-of 10 seconds. It was automatic. Once you meet Ashley, its instant friendship, instant smiling, and an instant good time.
Happy Birthday Ashley, thank you for being an amazing person. You have definitely made a difference in my life at APU, and I know it’s only the beginning.
Birthday pizookie on me!
John Kim.
So many people can go through their entire lives and not run into a person like John Kim. I’m so lucky this guys my buddy.
I met John near the beginning of freshman year when I went to go check out a meeting for the Christian Club on campus. First impression: cool dark asian kid with piercings, style and a lot of friends. I started seeing more of him through the friends we lived with week after week, day after day until by the end of the year I’d see John in and out of my room basically everyday. We had classes and spent many nights laughing and having a good time so at the very end of the year when his parents came to pick him up I mentioned I might visit him down in LA. He looked back and said, “you promise?” I said yah of course. To this day I don’t think he realized what he got himself into when he said, “see - you promised, that means you have to visit.”
That summer was pretty legit and the following semester I really got to know John. To THIS day although we only see each other every so often, we hav each others back. Were there helping each other out. He has definitely been there for me and its so sweet to know he always will be.
He’s my brother in Christ, and am so thankful for having him in my life! He’s taught me so much and continues to be the coolest guy I know. He inspires me to always go where God’s leading me and to always give it everything I got. He’s behind me 110% and assures it consistently time and time again. I love this guy and he’s in my prayers constantly!
John Kim, I cant wait to see what God’s got in store for you! Big plans for sure! Your an amazing person and have touched so many, including me, by being the best loyal friend anyone could ask for! Looking forward to good times ahead bro!!!
(continued)
God is good!
I’ve decided and its out on the table. Pray’n for the best.
